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    5/9/2009

    老男人

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            学校里的小女人唤作老男人,怕是已经有个把月了。

    后知后觉的,直到今天才恍然,怎么就那么坦然的受了这个称谓,

    呵,连反驳的心力都无,看似,我是真的老了~

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            每个早上,总能见到有鬼佬走进车厢,站在那里从容的拿出一本书,抽出书签,继续阅读。一眼望去,四十岁的女性在读《Harry.Potter》,穿着衬衣挽起袖口的年轻学生却在读《Contrat social》。幸而这里的车并无剧烈的摇摆,我开始站在拥挤的车厢里塞了耳机,阅读从遥远的地方携带至此的书籍。

     

            包里的密封杯子漏了咖啡,素色的布面封皮被染了一角,用力挤压,尚能滴出棕色的液体。它在过去的三年里,被我一再的翻看,已经记不得多少遍,它治愈我的忐忑,焦虑,绝望,以及自虐般的执念,每一次。它也终于,沾染了我的颜色。昨天还在和老师说起胃痛,老师劝我少喝咖啡,结果今天早上的课,就只能喝水了,老太太一脸自豪的指着我的杯子说,昨天刚劝过你,今天就改正,小伙子有前途~    我说,是我的书打劫了我的咖啡… …

     

            忽然就平复了起伏许久的胸壑,那些付出,你若看不到,或是以为负累,我又何苦,徒惹幽怨,空耗心力。

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            由你吧 ... ...

     

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